I’m staring blank on my laptop for about an hour before I found myself hitting the keys hard-heartedly. Brain drain, yeah, maybe, or perhaps I have totally no idea what am I doing here. I just kicked myself out of unimaginable stupidity wherein I and I am alone who can justify. Perplexity is all over me, weird, I even don’t want to accept the fact that, what I am now is what really am. I have no words to say. I don’t know. Wait, what am I doing here? Where I am now? Am I lost? Again? No I’m not I guess. I can still see faces familiar to me. There’s my boss and there’s my team. I’m not lost. But he’s my boss and what my team is all about. Are we into something? What company I am working with? Oh no, not again. Oh my God. Wait, what I need to do is just take a deep breath. Relax. Inhale, exhale.  Inhale, exhale.  Ahhh. Ok. Am I good now, am I? Yeah, I can feel it now. I’m good. I’m great. Look, wow, I can see the sun from here.  The street is so busy, so crowded. Wow, amazing. I am still alive. Why am I still alive? I thought somebody hit me with something hard. Maybe it was just another dream. I can still stand. I have to shake my hand. Yeah, I can shake it. I can smell, opps, I smell something.  What was that? It smells like a rotten fish out in a microwave oven. Oh shit, its too strong, I can’t stand it. Oh God, I do remember. I had brought a half-cooked fish this morning for my lunch. Where is it, where did I put that Tupperware. I can’t find it. Please help. Wait, what time is it? Hmmm, Tuesday. It feels that there is something I’m always doing every Tuesday at 2PM, can’t remember it. Do I have to attend a meeting or chair it, lunch or reports? What is it, oh shit. Why all those people inside that conference room is staring at me. Do I look funny? Do I look weird? Am I wearing something stupid? No way, I’m the best on this office when it comes to proper office dressing. Why are you all looking at me? I should be outta here. Better if I should take a walk. Just to relax myself. Try to recall everything. There’s a lady staring at me, why, she’s walking towards me. I should rush to the elevator before she catch up with me. I shouldn’t be looking at her. Oh no. C’mon elevator, c’mon. Finally, close that damn door! Shit. She’s shouting at me. Have I done something that makes her angry with me? I hope there is none. She’s pretty to be honest and she’s on high heels. She’s familiar, I think we met at somewhere else, a place quite, only the two of us with mirrors all over the place. Oh no, not again. No, I don’t know her. Where should I go now? This is our building lobby. Yeah, I’m at the lobby. The receptionist looks familiar, she’s also staring at me. She smiled at me. Did she know me. I supposed yes maybe. Looks like she becomes uncomfortable with the way I look at her. She’s removing her blouse’s upper button. Do I know her. Better move away from here before anything bad happens. I should keep on walking. Oh no, the guard is trying to stop me. No, I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m not a criminal. Spare me. I should run, yeah, I must run. Arrrgggghhhhh. Shit, what was that. Did I hit something? Something hit me. I’m feeling cold. Am I sweating again? No, I’m not. What is this in my head, red colored thick warm, ahhhhh, is this blood? Blood of who, from where, why? I’m feeling dizzy. I can’t feel anything. What’s happening to me? Why people are all staring at me. Help, I can’t see anything now. I’m sleepy. I’m tired. I’m cold. I’m………

  1. Matt says:

    You need to get some more posts up my friend! Keep blogging.

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