She’s crying again.

How can I clear-up things? I’m yet to start asking why and tried to explain things, you’re already bursting in tears and making me feels that I’ve done something terribly wrong even I’m sure there is none. That I don’t care about you, what I feel for you is not true. Why it always end up like these? When I tried to explain things, for you I am already raising my voice. When I choose to be silent, then I am ignoring you. When I tried to reason out, makes me appear that I don’t care for us and I am just taking you for granted.

You’re crying again. What should I gonna do? It’s me and what’s wrong if in a day, I don’t think much about you, if I missed a whole day to ring your phone. Shouldn’t you be thankful that I didn’t miss to send an SMS to you before bed time? I know you’re doing just fine and no need for me to ask things in detail how’s your day goes, or where did you go with your friends. You must understand that I need space sometimes, I need a quiet place to relax and think of other things aside from you. I don’t want to talk about usual things that we talk about when we are together. I’d like to be alone sometimes, what’s wrong with that. I know you care, you just wanna know what’s going on with me, where have I been the whole day. You want to know what time I woke up this morning, what have I taken for lunch and what would I have for dinner. You wanted to know what did happen at work or did I met my deadline. Is it wrong if sometimes, I dont want to talk to you? Let me close my eyes for a while without you on my mind, be myself on the dining table without those fancy manners, watch my favorite tv show without having my self on the phone with you. Be offline for a day and let my webcam take a rest for a while.

You’re crying again. Now, your crying while your friends are with you. Why are you doing that to me? I don’t know how or what your friends will think about me. Is that another way to make it appear that you are the only one who cares about us and I am doing nothing but hurting you even in front of them? I care for you more than you ever know and until now, I don’t know why you still doubt my sincerity.

You’re crying again. You’ve been jealous even with my favorite sports. You’re crying because I pick basketball rather than you. That I preferred to be with my basketball team mates rather than stay with you at your flat or stay at my flat the whole day with you. How many times would I told you, that this is once in a week event to keep myself fit, just 3 hours out of seven days of our week and basketball is already with me before I’d met you. Why all of a sudden, you want me to change my usual routine just to be with you? Is it wrong for me to ask? Now your crying again.

I’m already tired. Go on and just let yourself cry. I may shed tears too but at least at the very end, I know I will find myself free of all the dramas I don’t even know if it is real or just for a show.

Now I will just let you cry.

Valentines Day Story

3 days before 14th, to have a date both hearts agreed
One heart is excited while the other is a bit scared
Its HER first time to go for a date, perhaps careless she should not be
While HE is searching the whole metro, almost to find a perfect gift
This young pretty girl at the shop, to HIM sweetest smile she gave
One’s excited heart vanished, strange feelings struck the boy so hard
Before the sun hides against the moon, text messages, turns busy their phone
2 days before that date, the first timer finally feels at ease
Her destiny is already written and this boy will be her gift
With friends she seek advise, what to wear, for he to be impressed
She will need no material gift to wrap, for her untouched soul and flesh
The best gift the boy could possibly get
1 day before that date, in a room cast’s the shadows of two souls
Swaying to the tempo of unknown melody, swimming the waves without the sea
Several hours after, the storm calm down and melody stop
Both lips are still locked, their faith sealed upon first time they met
On that date, 14th of the month, the day most of hearts awaits and see
On a dress white fine silk, carries a price every boy could be envy
Her friends were excited, full of praises the girl receives
The beauty has emerged for the boy she loves the most she wants to be
On that date, 14th of the month, hour’s passes by, the gate sees no one, the door remains quiet
The boy is still nowhere, no messages has been received
Friends starts to worry, no more, the first dreamed date
Preparations will be nothing, by reckless heart, quickly all will be ruined
On that date, 14 of the month, the moon shines above the teary eyes
Several pieces the heart was torn, broken and tormented with unspeakable pain
Between sobs, escape, the girl thought the rope is the only way
On that date, 14th of the month, two heart’s celebrating while the other stops beating

I am a fan of several standup comic characters and hosts. They will either help you out relieve that stress on you or worst add to your very stressful day. Below are some of the excerpts that will makes you smile at least for few seconds and then after that, back to the life’s reality.

Excerpts from Conan O’Brien’s January 21 monologue about leaving NBC:

Many of you have probably heard the news. NBC and I have finally reached a separation agreement. I knew it was official this morning when NBC dropped off all my CDs and picked up its lava lamp.

As you all know by now, tomorrow is our last show here. I’d like to apologize to the guests that were scheduled for next week: President Barack Obama, the Pope, the Queen of England, and our good friend, Elvis Presley.

NBC and I hammered out an agreement for wrapping up my time here as host of the Tonight Show. The general terms of the contract are all over the Internet. But there are some provisions in the contract you may not know about:

-I am prohibited from coming within 500 yards of 11:30.
-I must return the Etch-A-Sketch my contract was written on.
-I’m not allowed to make fun of NBC programming. I have to let the programming speak for itself.
-The cop who escorts me off the lot after my last show must have the rank of lieutenant or higher.
-Max Weinberg must surrender his key to the women’s locker room at the NBC gym.
-Have to watch at least one NBC show every weeknight in order to double ratings.
-Effective today, NBC will stop paying for Andy Richter’s medical marijuana, and medical Jack Daniels.
-Must stop production on my documentary expose of NBC: “Inside the ‘Cock.”

Excerpts from Jay Leno’s January 21 monologue

Thank you for coming on such a miserable, rainy day. For those of you watching at home, to give you an idea what the weather is like here, it’s almost as gloomy outside NBC as it is inside NBC.

I don’t think people in L.A. have seen this much water since Octomom gave birth.

You know it hailed in Los Angeles. Hail! People here thought it was raining crack! They didn’t know what it is.

In fact, it has been so cold and rainy here in Los Angeles birds have stayed in their birdhouses all day just Tweeted each other. That’s how bad.

A number of states have set up programs for people to dispose of unused prescriptions. They’re trying to discourage people from flushing drugs down the toilet, because the drugs are turning up in drinking water. I don’t know what’s more disturbing, the fact that drugs are ending up in our drinking water or that flushed toilets are ending up in our drinking water. I don’t know which one is more disgusting.

Starbucks announced this week that they are raising their prices. Who can blame them? Have you seen the cost of hot water these days? Come on.

A new weight loss study out this week shows that the more complex the diet plan the sooner people will go off it. Do you think that has anything to do with it? How complex the plan is? Think about it. The reason they came out with these complex plans is because people couldn’t follow the simple plan: “Stop Eating!”

Federal officials are now accusing two truck drivers of stealing over $200,000 worth of Red Bull energy drinks from a Naval facility in Tennessee. Police pulled them over doing 95 MPH and they were on foot.

Here is something historic. The Shady Lady brother in Nevada has the first legal male prostitute in America. Now ladies, if you are interested in going to the male prostitute, we have his prices for you. For $50 he will talk dirty to you. For $100 he will have sex with you… And for $200 he will listen to you! At least half the crowd liked it.

Twenty-eight years ago this week the Camcorder was invented and twenty-eight years ago today was the first guy who said, “Honey, of course I’m not going to show it to anybody. This is just for us.”

Well, there’s nothing new when somebody resurrects from the dead.

After a short break (3 weeks isn’t long right?) practically most of us are back to our daytime job. Sits all day on our own space doing nothing but surfing the web and invading the pantry for more than 3 cups of coffee ‘til we rush down the elevator to catch the 6PM train. The same sort of faces on the train station and even while you are inside the train, you will find the rest of the faces bearing different thoughts, others are just wanting to get home, some seems still at their desk even their flesh already boarded the train. Most are hungry with the strange looks on their faces, and others just don’t care what I am thinking of them. The gossip never ends at the doorway of your office or at the pantry but continues down to the doorway of the train. A couple are talking about how the girl became pregnant without seeing anybody who’s dating her for the last few couples of months and based on how they react and the selection of words they had used, they are pretty much intrigued. At one corner are young ladies who are giggling to the thoughts of their new crush in school and at the other side is a serious looking middle-aged man who’s being paranoid of all the laughter coming from the different side. As the train stations passes by, the jam packed train becomes spacious and a lady beside me managed to finally have a seat. (Thanks to me being a gentleman hahahahaa joke). All it takes is just an eye contact and that’s it, she took the seat. (for which I complain sometimes)

Near the train station where I usually depart, there is a mall in which I took sometime to buy cooked food if it’s a bit late and I am too lazy to cook my own dinner. Usually, it depends on what day of the week. If its Monday, it should be veggies and some fish, Tuesday must be fish still, Wednesday will be some meat and Thursday most of the time depends on how it will turns out as this is called Thirst Day where me and some of my friends habitually empty’s few mugs of lagers. Friday is diet day, it’s dinner or no dinner at all. From time to time, this routine will be interrupted by occasional date or hangout with short-time girlfriend that most of the time will end up sleeping over board.

After few minutes standing in the bus, finally reached home and I wave to my Indo-Chinese neighbor who happens to be getting married soon. (Sigh) The lights are on meaning that either one or two of my lady flat mates are already in. The two empty mugs are again in the dining table. This is intriguing me, as I keep on cleaning the table with empty mugs the next day it will be there again. Assuming that most of us has our own sets of mugs and are responsibly putting it in the right place after use, this two empty mugs keep on coming back, used, on a regular basis which intrigued me for quite sometime. Amazing.

Switch on the tv and directly browse the channels for shows that will not makes me sleepy. Luckily, Wednesday and Thursday night will be a bit different as the American Idol New Season started in full-swing. Lay down the couch and kick-up my laptop to check personal emails, check my fantasy teams and see how I’m doing bad, really bad.

Got some buzz, few phone calls and then a bowl of my favorite noodles with 2 eggs will settle the rest of the night. Watching late night talk shows ‘til 2 am before finally sensing that the Goddess of Bed makes my world fall into sleep.

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Dakota – New Moon

You’ll never know when it would come to your feet. Before the next sunrise clears your entire foggy mind, you will find yourself on the verge of risky thoughts that only visit once in your dreams. And then your nights will become endless, too long yet but short. Your days will be short yet are too long to endure. There are happiness hearing those voices that sounds like melodies and there are enjoyment and satisfaction whenever you exchanges vivid words of inspirations. The seemingly impossible remoteness between two earthly souls will appears to be just one full length of a hand that can give a one bear hug thru the entire time. But, as the sunset is emerging from the east, fragile it become and weakness arises from within. The fear of losing will overwhelmed the entire spirit of once with a stronger heart and misunderstanding will be triggered by unknown swaying emotions that will lead nowhere but to the disaster all along been waiting from the very beginning the first hello has broken the silence between two purple hearts.

cant sleep, cant eat, cant work and cant run and cant walk
can chat, can argue, can fight, can attack, can sanction
can negotiate truce and peace, can declare all out war
cant take a break, cant take a breath when under attack
can get into your nerves sometimes, can give you headache most of the times

expensive, costly and will hurt your pocket if you get addicted to it
enjoyable when winning and will make you stubborn at the other end
you will have your enemy when provoked and you will like them when they agreed on your sentiments
you will have lots of friends all over the world, as well as enemies
your alias will be famous, either for good, or worst all will look after you to get a piece of yah
you will be love, and they will plunge with you wherever you go

you’ll cross path with someone you dont know and one morning you’ll find she’s already into you….

this is the game I love, the game they love, the game we will live for now…

–iPhone World War–
The Captain

During those early years, I bravely climb the tallest and the biggest Mango trees in my grandfather’s farm just to pick up the biggest and the tastiest mango for my friend every time she craves and ask me for it. Even some other local fruits that is not that easy to harvest or pick-up. Although, it’s risky to climb those huge trees, it brings out a lot of fun especially when your friend appreciates your effort and did enjoy the fruits.

But nowadays, its totally different. Since most of the fruits if not all can be easily found in the fruit stands, there are pretty less and less effort needed and no appreciation is required since there are nothing much difficulties on picking it up, just a trolley or a fruit basket is enough.

Before, it is no big deal. Because almost everybody do the same thing.

Now, it brings out a lot of fun too…. But fun of different kind….

Life is a beach in every way we look at it. But it depends on what kind of beach our lives have. Sometimes, it will not just be an enjoyable summertime beach but a well-entrenched and never been discovered, altered beach. One with huge rocks, big and fearsome waves, still untouched behind the corner of an island’s mountain. Always ready to rip anyone into pieces in a second or two. No calmness on sight as it is like there is always a storm brewing in. Stronger wind and heavier sea breeze, it gets a lot much more heavier as days passes by. And when you tried to get into it, either you’ll get drowned or sharks will just feast on your stupidity. These kind of beaches will have a lot of challenges, will only bring you a lot of unavoidable pains and sufferings. Don’t even step near into it, you’ll never know what will happen next when you fall into its trenches. Better get drowned in a summertime beach where somebody could possibly rescue you rather than get lost in this kind of beaches, where nobody would dare think to get you out of it.